Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
