ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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