Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
