it wasn't lemon gatorade
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
