fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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