Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
