Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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