The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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