My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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