Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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