If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She said her name was "party"
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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