cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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