I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
