There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
