i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
