hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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