my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
