I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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