soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
