eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
