Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
