you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
