I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
