dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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