Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
A bitchslap is in order.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
