Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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