Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
