The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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