I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
