pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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