dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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