do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
