That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
