Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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