The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
