Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We need a shit load of segways right now
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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