Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
