At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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