I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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