I want to make a zoo with you.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
