well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
