so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
