stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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