I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
