apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
