Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
