u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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