Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
