I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
