so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
