My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
