But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
