He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
